About Face

When it comes to texting- I am the worst! I have a history of sending break-up texts, having serious conflicts by text message, and trying to communicate my emotional reactions and needs by text message.  The thing is- we don't get anywhere by dumping on others through text message. We lose nuance, accountability, and the opportunity for conflict resolution. In this episode, I talk about my own history of being a bad communicator by text message, how I learned to (eeek!) call instead of text, and some thoughts on the relationship between text messaging, people pleasing, and conflict avoidance. Texting can go wrong--and fast. Try to make it a practice to avoid serious conversations by text and you will improve your own anxiety around texting as well as your capacity to resolve conflict with your partner, friends, family, and colleagues. 

I started this podcast after my own 'rock bottom' story and recovery journey, really in effort to capture the essence of personal growth and transformation coming out of darkness. But, what if there is no rock bottom?  What if you simply feel, or hear a voice deep down that tells you ... something isn't right? 'Rock bottom’ stories can be inspiring, they do not always capture the very normative experiences of burnout, feelings of disconnect, and a lack of purpose, particulary at mid-life. And, how do we define mid-life? Could it be, not a number, but rather a point in life to look back, reflect, and create transformation in our next phase? In this episode, I interviewed author Ben Katt, about his new book, "The Way Home: Discovering the Hero's Journey to Wholeness at Midlife," which captures the personal  transformation of someone who “lost his heart” but not in the most cinematic rock bottom ways we are accustomed to encountering. As he intros his book, there are countless ways to lose your heart, and he off

I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent. In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fear and anger towards service, an old recovery tool that helped give me perspective on my loss and how I can focus my attention on the needs of others.  Email me at kate@restoryatherapy.com For more about my narrative work and to work with me: www.restoryatherapy.com Art, exhibitions, and products: www.katemarlene.com Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya IG: @katemarleo  

Love stories captivate all of us, but how do narratives of love influence how we date, make meaning, and tell our own stories? What do we look for in the love stories of our own lives and how do larger narratives about love influence how we pursue and experience romance? In this episode, I interview Olivia de Recat, author, illustrator, and cartoonist for the New Yorker. Her book Drawn Together was named one of the best books of the Year by the New Yorker in 2022. This book was absolutely beautiful, truly hilarious, and a vulnerable look at romantic love stories in all shapes  It’s a collection of illustrated love stories, but also a kind of memoir that looks at Olivia’s relationship to love and relationships. I wanted to talk to her about her book, and how relationships are shaped by the love stories we know and tell. Kate IG @katemarleo www.restoryatherapy.com Find Olivia  IG @drawingolive www.oliviaderecat.com    

Being sick can have a negative impact on our sense of self and mental well-being. Do you feel unproductive, unable to be a good parent, or isolated and lonely when you're sick? When we are ill, a myriad of stories, beliefs, and negative associations can surface. These stories can impact our sense of self and, in my case, even lead to questioning my ability to work or be a good parent, fostering self-doubt and blame. To stop negative self-reflection during illness we must detach our identities and self-worth from the condition. It's about seeing the illness objectively, as something separate from who we are. Today, I want to share my story and offer insights that could provide support to anyone facing illness, whether it's a common cold, flu, or something more serious and chronic. If you're interested in sessions with me you can book at www.restoryatherapy.com Find me IG: @katerestorya Facebook: Kate Marlene/Restorya Therapy TikTok: KateMarlene    

One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also talk about the power of narrative, understanding the self, and shifting our narratives around break-ups towards empowerment.   Janice Formichella is a breakup coach and the host of the podcast Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving on w/ Janice Formichella. She is passionate about helping people from all backgrounds to beat their breakup, overcome loneliness, and make the end of a relationship the start of a powerful new beginning. www.breakupspod.com IG: JaniceFormichella Breakupspodcast   Kate Marlene Leone is a narrat

Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy. A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abortion narrative, however it is a conversation about “what-ifs” and it’s something I would do regarding any large life decision as great as this one. I have to say I was a bit shocked learning about his feelings at the time and even in hindsight. There were a lot of things we never said, until now, and I think the conversation reflects more broadly on middle-age look backs, life choices, and the way our perspectives and learnings can change over time. Again, it’s a story about stories. The stories we tell, the stories we may

Any time we try to convince others of our truth and convictions we lose power. When I got divorced I heard a lot of rumors about myself-- I'm crazy, left my husband for a younger boyfriend, etc. This experience taught me a lot about how to stand in my own power and truth and to not let myself be vulnerable to the thoughts and opinions of others.

I got on a dating app in 2012 and met my now ex-husband. Now I have two German kids and I can't leave the country! On a bad day this really gets be down, however, it has taught me a lot about the power of reimagining possibility within the very real limitations of our lives and circumstances. This episode is for anyone who has felt held back back or "stuck" because of circumstances, past decisions, and the consequences of just living our lives. Reimagine your limitations with real hope, possbility, and space for growth. 

I took a break from podcasting because I didn't know how to tell my own stories anymore. There was shame, confusion, fear, and hardship around what I was going through- leaving my marriage, becoming a single mother, and learning to embrace the truth about my situation and my life. This episode is about the reality of why I had to leave my marriage, what I learned about processing the grief and trauma, and how stories and podcasters have given me strength and hope. 

Dating after divorce or after 40 can be messy, but it's also a great time for self-growth, healing, and introspection. In this episode, Kate talks with Quintin Mecke, social activist, politician, and former mayoral candidate of San Francisco about healing in sex and love. This episode is a funny reflection on how they met doing storytelling in San Francisco, Kate's existential crisis when a sex tape is revealed, a relapse, polyamory, divorce, breakups and their misadventures in dating and healing. This episode explores personal healing, gender dynamics in marriage, family trauma, and how to heal ourselves to be ready for new and more mature love. 

This is the first episode in a new season of About Face. Kate shares her personal journey with creating the podcast, what it means to be authentic, why being honest with ourselves is crucial to recovery. She shares about losing a guest to overdose, divorce, addiction recovery, sex and love addiction, her inspiration in the trans community, and the role of storytelling in recovery. If you want to heal, you have to be real. Here is the first episode on a journey of truth and finding authenticity in our lives and ourselves.

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While there was also a situation of what could be considered "past life regression," we also talked about the role of imagery, metaphor, and of course, narrative.  I talk about how the session unlocked some early experiences, some painful, but also awakened some understandings for me around relationships with men, my past, and my current energies. Marta shares about her Quantum Healing Hypnosis practice, the role of deep meditation, connecting with a higher self, and how she is self-recovered from schizophrenia.  We also talk ab

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way. Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. That is to say that the human experience will inevitably involve pain: we will face hardship, loss, and eventually death, but the suffering that accompanies it will be of our own making. So, beyond the other Buddhist tenants of acceptance and impermanence, we can also look more practically at these attachment stories that really can exacerbate the suffering of our lives. In this episode I share about my own experiences in the last month- a new lockdown, my daughter's brain surgery last month, getting served divorce papers, and

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy.  This episode was inspired by an essay I wrote called, "The Things We Cannot Handle," originally published in Scary Mommy in 2017.  If you are interested in learning more about narrative please check out my website www.restoryatherapy.com and feel free to book a session with me.  You can find more content at Patreon and please consider subscribing to support my work.  https://www.patreon.com/join/restorya Email: kate@restoryatherapy.com @restorya on Instagram Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier

I hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help? Today I am bringing you an interview that I did over the summer with Eilene Zimmerman who I first discovered after reading her viral article in the New York Times called, “The Lawyer, The Addict.” I actually was doing my own research on this intersection between lawyers and addiction and this was a fascinating story about Eilene and her husband Peter, a high-powered attorney who died of a drug overdose, without her even knowing he had an addiction. What is interesting to me about this story is the many ways that our cultural representations of addiction

I love gratitude lists, but I think sometimes the pressure to focus on the positive (and shaming for negative thinking) can be destructive. In this episode I want to share my experience with learning to acknowledge some of the challenges in my life, taking an honest approach to hardship. This is about self compassion and learning to get real when things kind of suck. 

Break-ups are HARD and the heartache can last years. This episode explores the relationship between self-identity and break-ups and why the pain is often because of the stories we tell ourselves about why things ended. Whether you left a 20 year marriage or you got ghosted after a few Tinder dates, this episode is for you. Kate explores four steps to narrative healing: 1- What stories are you telling yourself about the relationship or the break-up? 2- What stories are you telling yourself about YOURSELF? What power does this story have over you? 3- Challenge negative biases and beliefs around these stories. 4- Recall and remember the positive things you have learned, what you might take forward, and the strengths you showed during and after the end of a relationship. This is one example of how narrative work can help in empowerment, self discovery, and personal transformation. www.restoryatherapy.com Insta: @restorya Facebook: Kate Marlena- Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English-spea

So. many of us are suffering from the collective grief of this pandemic and it's been manifesting in various ways- pressures on our relationships, money stress, health fears, feelings of isolation, and the unknown. There is also a depressive element- not knowing how we will be moving forward for the next year, the inability to make plans, and this pressing feeling of, "Will this ever end?"   Kate talks about her own struggles with the grief and loss, the inability to travel out of a foreign country, the unknowns, and the fears and stress of social distancing. She talks about narratives that can be limiting including stages of grief, and other ways that we can embrace and overcome this new world with hope and authenticity.    I am currently taking new clients but I have only a few spots left so book now!   Contact: www.restoryatherapy.com Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Insta: @restorya  Music: "Jeanne" by Kenichi and the Sun on the album White Fire available now. 

Food is so basic and primal and yet so many of us suffer from disordered eating--why? This isn't about extreme cases of anorexia, bulimia, or overeating (though it could be), but the many little ways that we are tortured by food management, food restriction, and the disordered relationships we have with food because of personal, family, cultural and systemic narratives. In this episode Kate talks with food psychology coach Laura Lloyd about the narratives we have about food, our bodies, and exercise. Do you suffer from disordered eating? Have a subconscious aversion to exercise? Do you hate team sports or think maybe you just "aren't that kind of person" to work out? What conclusions have we drawn about food, our bodies, and exercise because of early childhood experiences? What narratives and messages have we inherited from our families of origin and culture? Do you have narratives about managing our food and weight?  This episode also delves into larger narratives of food and our bodies and the role of capit